Friday, March 02, 2007
My friend and fellow blogger Allen Gladfelter posted a blog last week, Feb 17th. He's working on a comicbook and he had an issue with a page he was working on. He drew the page, but he thought he could have done better. He put it out there for public comment and I think he was brave to do that.
I think Allen is an excellent artist! He constantly works on improving his art and I can relate. Take a look at his blog Click Here As for critiquing his page, I did a few sketches. In the early days of my blog, I used to comment on other peoples art. What an ego! But this is not some mean dress-down of his art, just a response to his blog.
1-I changed the camera angle. The Hero looks in the window, and is surprised by a guard! I put the guard inbetween Hero and window. The hand touches the window showing interest.
2-Turn the head of the guard. Allens' page lacks close-ups and if there is any dialogue, you should have at least one head shot. Also, I show The Hero reacting in the BG.
3-The guard has a weapon and he is about to use it! I put the gun in the foreground. The Hero reaches out at the reader/camera.
4-I sketched 2 ideas for the fourth panel, 2 camera angles. The Hero gets his hands on the Guards throat and takes the weapon in the same move. The guard is supposed to hit the ground, and I address that in the next panel.
5-I put the camera on the ground to show the knocked out guard and the victorious Hero. The low-angle shows the Hero dominating the frame. Other guards enter the scene and it looks like they don't have a chance.
It's up to the artist to decide lighting and everything else. So there is my two-cents and I hope I was able to help.